I haven’t written for a while because I am suffering from second degree sleep deprivation, which makes it difficult to think coherently, let alone write. Artemis has been waking up three times a night every night for the past week. Maybe even longer. The days are blurring together.
Artemis has never been a great sleeper, and lately she has been getting worse. She’ll wake up after less than two hours of sleep. I change her diaper, nurse her, sing to her (she likes reggae), swaddle her and rock her back to sleep. The whole process takes anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour. Sometimes even longer.
Her daytime naps are problematic, too. I can get her down, but I can’t keep her down. She’ll usually wake up after thirty minutes’ or so. Not enough time for me to take a nap myself to catch up on the sleep that I need.
It’s enough to push a mom into the arms of the Weissbluth book.
Dr. Weissbluth wrote a very popular book about teaching children good sleep habits. It’s the most stress-inducing book I’ve ever read, full of little boxes that say things like,
Key Point: Children who don’t get enough sleep become stupid, mean and fat.
Dr. Weissbluth says that starting around four months, you let them cry it out. He says it’s what the baby needs. Constant attention from mom and dad can be counterproductive when it comes to teaching a baby to sleep. Artemis wants to stay up and hang out with us, but what she needs is to go to sleep.
Our daughter is now three-and-a-half months old. We were planning on waiting until her four-month birthday before letting her cry, but last night our plans changed. After four hours of rocking, swaddling, nursing and singing “Redemption Song” about two hundred times she was still awake. We decided to fast-track the Weissbluth plan and let her cry herself to sleep.
She was out like a light in under thirty minutes.
Now the only problem is explaining to my ayi why I am letting my daughter cry before taking a morning nap. I am a little afraid of her judgment, especially since I share an ayi with two other families that work with Josh.
I think I will have a Chinese friend explain what we are doing. That way I won’t develop a reputation as a neglectful mom.
5 Comments
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If your ayi knows babies it’s likely she’ll understand. I’ve hear similar stories from all sorts of parents. The guilt-wracked first time they left they left their precious little one to cry herself to sleep. But the results are uniformly positive. Not fun for anyone, but whatever it takes to survive, right?
Hope the night-time reggae parties pass soon!
Best, Gena xxx
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I know it breaks your heart but it really works!! Talk with Maureen, her son Jackson never napped more the 30-45minutes; she feels your pain. She got over it though and now she’s pregnant again.
xoxoxoxox
-mk
PS when your back in the states you’ll get the rest you need I PROMISE!!!
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I never let Molly cry, and she didn’t sleep through the night until she was 3 years old!! I think you’re doing the right thing. xoxoxo
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I have just been staying with my daughter who has a baby now 6 weeks old. The baby keeps them awake half the night. It is crazy. When I had my 3 we let them cry so long as we had done all we could for them ie feed, diaper etc. Babies get overtired and need to be put down and left to settle down. Around 6 weeks old we stopped the 2.00am feed and let the baby cry. The first night they cry about 20 minutes, second night 10 mins and then the third night they don’t cry at all. You need to help them learn that you don’t always get everything you want! Our kids are all fine and suffered no ill effects.
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Please read some Dr Sears instead of Weissbluth. I know it’s probably too late now (this post is pretty old) but please reconsider if you’re still trying CIO. I really recommend Sears’ “The Baby Book”.