04 Sep

The Nonplussed Bust Trust, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Walmart

At my last job in the USA, I worked for a public-interest lobbying firm. Last December I spent several hours in the large conference room with a group of my colleagues. We watched a documentary about the crimes of Walmart while we signed our Christmas cards. It was a good way to fill the room. We stuffed a lot of envelopes that afternoon. I rarely went to Walmart in America. That was partly because I disliked their draconian labor practices and their Soviet aesthetics, and partly because I lived in East Coast, union towns where Walmart wasn't welcome. Yet somehow, here in China, Walmart seemed like a welcome piece of home. They had concentrated fruit juice! And it was labeled in English! It was like finding pearls on the beach. Then yesterday, something happened that increased my enthusiasm exponentially. I was shopping in the lingerie department. I was shopping for bras. I tried on one, and it was too small. Then I tried another. It was still too small. There was only one size left, and lucky for me, it was just right. My name is Emily and I wear the biggest bra available at Walmart. WALMART! I have been wearing a bra since seventh grade. Hillary D. informed me that I needed one while we were changing for gym class in the girls' locker room. She was seconded by Jennifer J. and the motion passed by voice vote. Hillary and Jen wanted me to wear a bra because my nakedness embarassed them, even in the privacy of the locker room. They were ashamed and perplexed by their own developing bodies, and they wanted me to be ashamed, too. In those early years, bras represented a hiding place. Years later, I discovered the beauty of the brassiere. They came in all colors and all fabrics. They were beautiful, even if no one ever saw them (or only rarely). In 1994, the Wonderbra conquered America, and I discovered that bras could be transformative. They could sculpt an ordinary torso into Mae West or Marilyn Monroe. This lesson has not been lost on the Chinese.  Most of the bras in Walmart's lingerie department have Wonderbra-like, gel inserts.  They are designed to give the wearer a little extra va-va-va-voom.  Which is not to say that all Chinese women are flat chested. There are plenty of big girls in the PRC. There are women here of all shapes and sizes. Some of them are tall with broad rib cages. Some of them are voluptuous, with attributes bigger than mine. Where are these women buying their bras? Evidently, they are not shopping at Walmart.

3 Comments

  1. 1
    Gena Marshall
    September 7, 2006 at 2:26 am
    Permalink

    The biggest bra at Walmart? Oh my god. Maybe America does have an obesity epidemic; hearing about your shopping trip means I’m going to have to adjust my perspective on size. After giggling about it a little. Are their bras purely decorative, do they serve any structural function?

    Or maybe it’s a problem with Western stores, like Josh and his shoes?

  2. 2
    molly
    September 7, 2006 at 4:15 am
    Permalink

    How funny! I hope you dont get pregnant, if you do you’ll have a big problem!! And they just keep getting BIGGER for months!!! I guess I’ll just have to send you bra care pakages.

  3. 3
    Hal
    September 8, 2006 at 12:16 pm
    Permalink

    perhaps we can get a picture???????

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