It’s been a long time since we’ve written about the more commonplace things that go on here in the PRC. We forget that our family back home in the States wants to know about even the most mundane aspects of life here. To be honest, our life here is so similar to life in the US, that I sometimes feel like Dreamy Smurf in the episode where he became AstroSmurf. That was the one where Dreamy wanted to explore outer space, so he built a giant rocket. The rocket didn’t work, but the other Smurfs knocked him out and brought him to a volcano and dressed up in costumes and pretended to be aliens. If you don’t remember that episode, you can find a great synopsis in the description of Dreamy Smurf here. Anyway, life feels so regular here that I sometimes think all of my family and friends drank a potion that made them look Asian and they’ve just been goofing on us for the last year.

And then something happens that reminds me we’re not in Kansas.

In light of the recent Aqua Teen Hunger Force scare in the US (never thought I’d be typing that), I thought I’d share a bit of cartoon comedy from this side of the Pacific. When we first arrived in China, I was surprised by some of the logos Chinese companies use to market their goods. Far and away my favorite is that of the Haier corporation, one of the most powerful corporations in the PRC. I give you the Haier brothers.

That’s it. Two kids standing around getting cuddly in their speedos - one’s eating an ice cream cone and the other is giving a thumbs up sign. They are adorable, no? But so many questions are raised. Why the different skin tones? Haier’s a Qingdao company. Qingdao has a rich history and was strongly influenced by German occupation. There are still many German companies here. Perhaps Haier started as a joint-venture with a German company. The ice-cream lickin’ kid is the very image of a nordic uber-tyke. Maybe he represents Germany to the Chinese consumer.

If that’s the case, is the other kid supposed to be Chinese? Why are they standing around in their Speedos? And I’ll admit that it’s probably just me, but as a corporate logo, isn’t it a little pervy? It feels like that Diff’rent Strokes episode where the pedophile bike shop owner gets Arnold and Dudley to take off their shirts and flex.

When we got to Qingdao, we started spotting the Haier kids everywhere. Haier is good enough to post the Haier kids on Mount Lao as trail guides.

They’re also hocking Haier stuff at Suning Plaza. This picture represents China for me in a million ways I can’t describe.

Giant, inflatable versions even show up at the Qingdao International Beer Festival, or, as we like to call it, The. Worst. Beer. Festival. Ever.

But before this morning, I had no idea of the Haier brothers’ greatest accomplishment. They are coming, America. They are coming to take over. And unlike the Aqua Teen Hunger Force, the Haier Brothers mean business.

Apparently they were made by a wizard. And they’re actually robots. Or something like that. It all sounds a bit too much like a Nation of Islam treatise on the origins of the white man to me. Either way, they’re on a voyage of discovery around the world.

According to these People’s Daily stories (1,2), the Brothers Haier is the longest Chinese-made cartoon ever produced. And it’s coming to America. Eventually.

It’s reported that the biggest cartoon channel of the US once conducted a trial transmission before the broadcasting of the Haier Brothers and to their great surprise they found that American children were quite absorbed in this cartoon program. Their parents also showed their favor with this cartoon for it’s rich in knowledge and absence from bloody fighting and eroticism. In the opinion of the US insiders, this cartoon series, a modern edition of the “Journey to the West” offered by China to the world, is surely to carry away the US children. -

So, don’t let your kids watch that sexy, bloody marketing ploy/subversive Al-Qaeda plot that is Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Have them watch something wholesome. Check out this Brothers Haier episode over at Tudou.com, in which the boys meet Winnie-ther-Pooh’s girlfriend. It’s about 12 minutes long, but I promise the payoff is worth it. It is sure to carry away your children.

If anybody can help us with the Chinese, we’d appreciate it.