Many years ago I met a South African in Argentina. We talked about our dream vacations. He told me that his ideal would be a rigorous hiking trip, staffed by servants who would serve him gourmet meals at the end of every day. When I told him that I was uncomfortable with the idea of servants he laughed and said, “you’re a dyed in the wool North American!”

An American friend of mine hired a cleaning lady a few years ago. She decided against using an organized maid service because she didn’t want to hire someone who would be cleaning houses forever. She told me she wanted to find, “some girl who is doing this to put herself through school,” and I couldn’t help but wonder, why would my friend use the same language to talk about maids that she would for prostitutes?

I have been thinking about this recently because I have hired a maid, or “ayi” as we say in China. Almost everyone we know in Qingdao has an ayi. Around the world, most people who can afford it hire similar help.

So why are Americans so embarrassed to admit it if they don’t strip their own sheets?

Americans like to believe that they live in a classless society. Hiring domestic help challenges that myth. The Chinese know that class divisions are real, and they are OK with that.

I am no longer troubled by the idea of having servants, as I was in my days of hiking around Argentina. I love having an ayi, and I am grateful to her every time I walk into my twinkling bathroom.