Single, Asian Female seeks American couple for LTR - and maybe some light spanking ;)
I am a cute, young Chinese girl.
You are educated, married, and between the ages of 30 and 50. You must also be well-endowed and generous with your assets ;)
Please no singles or psychos. And definitely NO FATTIES.
If interested, contact China Center for Adoption Affairs
According to Harrah’s Adoption International Mission (story via Bloomberg), the China Center for Adoption Affairs is experiencing a baby shortage as applications to adopt Chinese children increase. So they’re getting picky.
From May 1st, 2007, only married couples will be able to adopt. Each aspiring parent must be between 30 and 50 years old and the total number of divorces of the couple must not exceed two (one each or two/nil). Neither can suffer from any diseases or disabilities. If you take any medications for anxiety or depression, NO SOUP..ermm…NO BABY FOR YOU!
The new financial requirements may have the biggest impact on hopeful parents. The prospective couple must have net assets in excess of $80,000.
Additionally, each spouse must be a high-school graduate, never have been arrested and be thin. That’s right. The CCAA discriminates against the big-boned, husky and cherubic. Each parent must have a body mass index under 40…making us think somebody at the CCAA is on the board of Jenny Craig.
Interestingly, there is no cut-off on the other extreme. As the Duchess of Windsor said, you can never be too rich or too thin to adopt a Chinese baby.
What do you think? Are these requirements fair indicators of child-rearing ability?
For Tricky: tell Devendra Banhart, singer of “Chinese Children”, to invest wisely and stay away from fried foods.
4 Comments
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Auto-responder: This wasn’t intended as an acerbic take on anything. I can certainly understand how this plan follows the Eight Honors - Eight Disgraces doctrine. $10,000 per person is a “live plainly; struggle hard” income for the purposes of raising a family. My only question is whether the $80,000 in assets (presumably home equity) is a good litmus test for a family’s financial ability to raise a child.
And on the body mass index side: Sure, fat is the new smoker, but in my limited experience, women who best dote on and nurse a child are frequently found doting on and nursing a pint of Haagen Dazs. Full-figured women everywhere, this post wasn’t intended as an insult. If anything, I would guess you to be more capable of caring for a little one than those waifish, fashion-obsessed celebrities in the adopting pool.
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You know how I mentioned on my blog that my friends are having to get clearance from Homeland Security before they adopt a Chinese baby? I’m surprised that sort of thing doesn’t get as much publicity as these new rules. It’s weirder. I wonder if everyone has to get the HS okay, or if it is just that my friend is a pilot.
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lol. i dunno. it sounds dark and white at the same time. hidden agenda? o.O
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My wife and I adopted last year and we would not have been able to under the new rules due to her weight (she has PCOS which often involves weight issues). I don’t recall from our seminars if it’s Korea or Viet Nam that already had weight restrictions in place years ago. And height restrictions as well. You might find our experiences in China interesting: meiinchina.blogspot.com.
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This should win the award for best headline of the year….