In the movie "Just Another Girl on the IRT," the heroine, Chantel, manages to hide her pregnancy from her friends and family throughout her entire nine months. In "Saved!" Jenna Malone pulls the same stunt. And then there was the true story about the Jersey girl who gave birth during her senior prom. No one knew she was pregnant, not even her boyfriend.

How do these high school girls do it? I am only five months along and I can't hide a thing. When I walk down the street people can't help but stare. If there is one thing that attracts more attention than a foreigner in China, it is a pregnant foreigner. That, and maybe an infant foreigner.

Now that my pregnancy is on full display, I have started to go a little baby crazy. Thanks to the internet, I have a library full of pregnancy information at my disposal. I can gush at catalogs full of cute, little baby clothes, look at pictures of fetal development, and learn about all of the things I shouldn't do because they may be harmful to Smudge. I knew that alcohol was off-limits, but I had no idea I wasn't supposed to sleep on my back.  The jury is still out on coffee, but I have decided to abstain out of an abundance of caution.

I have also picked up a few pieces of advice from Chinese friends. I have been told, for example, that pregnant women should not use computers because radiation from the monitor could be harmful to the fetus. As I sit here and write, I am obviously ignoring that tip. I have also been told that I should wear a lead apron, similar to the one used in dentists' offices, while watching TV. I don't bother with that one, either. If television were harmful to babies in utero, I don't think there would be any Americans left.

The most important thing I have learned from the myriad mothering websites is to just turn them off. There are too many mothers out there who are obsessed with their children to an unhealthy degree. My goal is to be a mother who can still talk intelligently about subjects other than babies. 

Besides that, I want to avoid alienating all of my friends and readers who are interesting people with rich, exciting lives and who happen not to be parents.  I know as well as anyone, there is a lot more to life than having a baby in China.