In the movie "Lost in Translation", Bill Murray plays an American movie star who is staying in Japan while shooting a whiskey commercial. He has trouble communicating with the Japanese director, and because the whole thing is played without subtitles, the audience has trouble, too. But thanks to the power of the internet, we can uncover what he said:

DIRECTOR: (In Japanese) Mr. Bob-san. You are sitting quietly in your study. And then there is a bottle of Suntory whiskey on top of the table. You understand, right? With wholehearted feeling, slowly, look at the camera, tenderly, and as if you are meeting old friends, say the words. As if you are Bogie in "Casablanca," saying, "Cheers to you guys," Suntory time! INTERPRETER: (In English, to Bob) He wants you to turn, look in camera. O.K.? BOB: That's all he said? INTERPRETER: Yes, turn to camera. BOB: Does he want me to, to turn from the right or turn from the left? INTERPRETER (in very formal Japanese to the director): He has prepared and is ready. And he wants to know, when the camera rolls, would you prefer that he turn to the left, or would you prefer that he turn to the right? And that is the kind of thing he would like to know, if you don't mind. DIRECTOR (very brusquely, and in much more colloquial Japanese): Either way is fine. That kind of thing doesn't matter. We don't have time, Bob-san, O.K.? You need to hurry. Raise the tension. Look at the camera. Slowly, with passion. It's passion that we want. Do you understand? INTERPRETER (In English, to Bob): Right side. And, uh, with intensity.

I was reminded of this scene when Josh and I were posing for a photo shoot the other day. We were both wearing costumes meant to evoke the last days of the Qing Dynasty. The photographer tried to explain the proper pose for a Confucian head of household and his obedient wife. We kept on getting it wrong, even when our colleague, Jasmine, was acting as our translator. Eventually the photographer acted out what he wanted so that we could imitate him. Several weeks ago, Jasmine asked us if we would like to pose for a friend of hers, a professional photographer at "Jinzhou's most famous studio." He wanted to have pictures of Americans in his portfolio, and it would mean a lot to him if we would do it. Jasmine was shocked when I told her that these kinds of studios were not really very popular in America. Glamour is a big business in Jinzhou. There are studios all over town that specialize in fantasy photo shoots. Bus shelters are plastered with beautiful young couples of ambiguous ethnicity, and many of them are advertising Classics of Paris, the studio where we had our shoot. We both had fun playing supermodels for the day, but it took a lot of time. I spent an hour getting my makeup done, and thirty minutes each for three different hairstyles. The make-up girl put little slivers of tape on my eyelids to make my eyes look bigger, a trick I didn't know. The clothes I wore were all beautiful. I wish Josh were so lucky. My first gown was strapless with big, sequined roses. I have no idea why they gave Josh a jacket and tie to match the rose print on my dress. It must be because these pictures will be used for marketing, and they have to appeal more to brides than to grooms. For that first shoot we went into a courtyard in one of Jinzhou's fancier apartment complexes. Two little girls walked behind me and carried my train for me while the photographer gave a long series of instructions. Jasmine translated, "he wants you to move." I enjoyed the second costume, especially because I could wear a tiara. This is the second time I have worn a tiara in the People's Republic of China. I never wore one in the royal-loving USA. Go figure. The best outfits were the traditional ones. I could happily dress like this all the time, even though I insist showing my teeth when I smile. A proper Confucian lady would never show her teeth. Maybe in a few months our pictures will be plastered on the bus shelters of Jinzhou. By that time we will have moved on. I wonder if there is a photographer who needs us in Qingdao.